In a small country such as Lebanon the citizens usually share common religion, cultural heritage and specific loyalty to the country or the president of the country... But Lebanon is different; this country is split into more than three parts when it comes to the unity of its communities. Each and every community differ from the other, we have the communities that are separated by religion, the ones that are separated by politics, the ones that are separated by both religion and politics, and finally the ones who are anti-both. Variety is great, but not when it aims to destroy the unity of the country and target to create small groups headed by leaders and become separated from the mother country.
The Gay community is the fifth part in the Lebanese community though some of them are related to one of the four other parts but some remains independent. The Lebanese gay community is cruel, harsh, judgmental, unforgiving, and might break you at any time. Sad but true.
When you go out to gay places, when you start being introduced to the gay community you see everybody "loves you", Why? Just because you are new, and they are kind of bored from each other. As much as the gay community is somehow big in Lebanon as much as everyone knows each other, because after all Lebanese citizens are almost four million only.
Inside the community, you have the good and the bad, the fat and the thin, the free and the handcuffed, smokers and nonsmokers, religious and non-religious, drinkers and nondrinkers... Just like any other community, just like any other kinds of people that you would meet in a straight pub or night or even restaurants.
The problem with the gay community is that it is very sexual. As some say "this is the wrong view that everyone has concerning gay people" well it is not from their imagination that they created this view. Our gay community is very sexual, very intense with sexual vibes... It is "almost" impossible for some people to go out clubbing without going to a motel at the end of the night and having sex with a stranger they have just met at the night club.
Gossip... Gossip is unbearable in the gay community here, the judgmental kind of gossip, the prejudice kind of one that will spread rumors that has nothing to do with truth.
Relationships breakups: There comes the fun part, let's say you are dating this girl/guy and you went out for several times and everything seemed great till suddenly she/he stops picking up the phone or answering your e-mails or messages. This is how most people break up in here, while few others sit and talk about it in maturity.
Lots of sides, lots of negativity that exists in the Lebanese gay community but with all these bad manners from the people who are part of it, you can still enjoy a night out in Bardo or other places that will be talked about later on.
Showing posts with label community. Show all posts
Showing posts with label community. Show all posts
Monday, August 3, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
To Mingle or Not to Mingle
Human beings cannot live without interacting with one another; they are very social and dependent on each other in several things. And so in order to interact with the other person you need to build some sort of a relationship or a connection which keep you and this person connected to your needs and her/his needs. But all this connection should be mutual from the two sides; otherwise it will not give any fruits in the end of the day.
The question is: How can gay people in Lebanon mingle in side of the community, and how can they become a part from this community just like anyone else? How can they interact with the straight people and have this mutual will to connect and help each other in order to survive? Or should the gay people only mingle with gay people and exclude themselves from the whole community? And wouldn't that be a very wrong step towards increasing the misunderstanding and the gaps between the straight people and the gay concept?
To mingle inside the community is to be "one" with the community while maintaining your own views and personality, but being accepted as an entity no matter what your views, color, sexuality, and religion are... To mingle inside the community is to wear the "clothes of that community"...But not exactly. You only wear these clothes, if they fit your body, if they don't then you either edit them, or change them, because at the end of the day, if you do not like the green color, you won't ever feel comfortable wearing the green color, so you change it to the red color.
To mingle... Is to become accepted. But the fundamentally judgmental Lebanese community will not allow any homosexual to mingle among it. Why? Because we go back to the first article I've written, religion, parental and environmental social background, and I must add one more thing: Because the Lebanese community is afraid of change, and of losing the religious, sectarian political system they have if we ever progress. So it is all connected and it is all in the hands of the rulers of the country.
To mingle is to forgo your sexuality in front of the straight people. Because nobody wants to be mocked, or made fun of, or even beaten by straight guys. To mingle is to have tow lives, a life that you fake, and a secret life that you are not proud of it just because people made you feel ashamed of it. To mingle in Lebanon is to wear the green color that you hate in order to just be loved and accepted by the people who curse your secret life.
Not to mingle...Not to mingle... Gays will separate themselves from the straight community, they will not care if they are accepted or not, loved or not, respected or not, but they will stick together as one herd and will fight for their rights as one hand so that they force the community to accept them and respect them.
They will organize demonstrations against the government in order to ask for legal acceptance (Article 534 of the Lebanese Penal Code where everyone should sign to abolish: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/abolish-article-534-of-the-lebanese-penal-code), they will walk in the streets of the country to show the people that they are humans and deserve to live, they will be on talk shows and television programs to enlighten the people of this country that all what religions have said, and parents have created is just a lie and a fallacy.
Not to mingle is to stand and sacrifice for a cause of existence. Not to mingle is to stand high and be proud of who you are, who you have been and who you will always be: Lebanese & Gay.
I know that all this is just hard for us to do, and I know that if we move towards this step lots of us are going to lose their jobs and be humiliated in their neighborhoods, but what if we didn't do such a step and they found out about you? You will always be humiliated and maybe abused...
Is it not worth it to suffer for a year or two or maybe five years and then have a government that protects you and society that understands you?
Yes, I do also understand that the gay lifestyle in Lebanon is beautiful, we have our pubs, our nightclubs, our restaurants and even our hangout places, but all this is still not enough for us to mingle with the rest of the community.
In the end of the day the choice is always ours, we either fight the unfairness and the disgrace we live in, or we let it go and live under the 534 Article of the Lebanese Penal Code, which can be applied anytime and we all be taken to prison just because we are homosexuals.
The question is: How can gay people in Lebanon mingle in side of the community, and how can they become a part from this community just like anyone else? How can they interact with the straight people and have this mutual will to connect and help each other in order to survive? Or should the gay people only mingle with gay people and exclude themselves from the whole community? And wouldn't that be a very wrong step towards increasing the misunderstanding and the gaps between the straight people and the gay concept?
To mingle inside the community is to be "one" with the community while maintaining your own views and personality, but being accepted as an entity no matter what your views, color, sexuality, and religion are... To mingle inside the community is to wear the "clothes of that community"...But not exactly. You only wear these clothes, if they fit your body, if they don't then you either edit them, or change them, because at the end of the day, if you do not like the green color, you won't ever feel comfortable wearing the green color, so you change it to the red color.
To mingle... Is to become accepted. But the fundamentally judgmental Lebanese community will not allow any homosexual to mingle among it. Why? Because we go back to the first article I've written, religion, parental and environmental social background, and I must add one more thing: Because the Lebanese community is afraid of change, and of losing the religious, sectarian political system they have if we ever progress. So it is all connected and it is all in the hands of the rulers of the country.
To mingle is to forgo your sexuality in front of the straight people. Because nobody wants to be mocked, or made fun of, or even beaten by straight guys. To mingle is to have tow lives, a life that you fake, and a secret life that you are not proud of it just because people made you feel ashamed of it. To mingle in Lebanon is to wear the green color that you hate in order to just be loved and accepted by the people who curse your secret life.
Not to mingle...Not to mingle... Gays will separate themselves from the straight community, they will not care if they are accepted or not, loved or not, respected or not, but they will stick together as one herd and will fight for their rights as one hand so that they force the community to accept them and respect them.
They will organize demonstrations against the government in order to ask for legal acceptance (Article 534 of the Lebanese Penal Code where everyone should sign to abolish: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/abolish-article-534-of-the-lebanese-penal-code), they will walk in the streets of the country to show the people that they are humans and deserve to live, they will be on talk shows and television programs to enlighten the people of this country that all what religions have said, and parents have created is just a lie and a fallacy.
Not to mingle is to stand and sacrifice for a cause of existence. Not to mingle is to stand high and be proud of who you are, who you have been and who you will always be: Lebanese & Gay.
I know that all this is just hard for us to do, and I know that if we move towards this step lots of us are going to lose their jobs and be humiliated in their neighborhoods, but what if we didn't do such a step and they found out about you? You will always be humiliated and maybe abused...
Is it not worth it to suffer for a year or two or maybe five years and then have a government that protects you and society that understands you?
Yes, I do also understand that the gay lifestyle in Lebanon is beautiful, we have our pubs, our nightclubs, our restaurants and even our hangout places, but all this is still not enough for us to mingle with the rest of the community.
In the end of the day the choice is always ours, we either fight the unfairness and the disgrace we live in, or we let it go and live under the 534 Article of the Lebanese Penal Code, which can be applied anytime and we all be taken to prison just because we are homosexuals.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Fitting In
We should always face facts. Every day, and every hour and even every moment in our lives, we should be able to face the "facts" whether we like it or not.
But in order to do that, we should be able to "see" and understand the situation we are put in.
For most of gay people in Lebanon their lives are nothing but a discrete scary situation. Most of these people try to hide their sexuality in public places, just because they know they are going to be rejected, so they "fake it".
What do they fake? They fake their attitudes, they fake their behaviors, and they even fake their body movements. But at the same time, they seek acceptance from the community.
I am not saying let's go act "bitchy" and give them the crazy attitude, and by that we would really be seeking acceptance, "no" but why don't you just act normal and natural?
But fact is, in order to fit in the Lebanese community, you must not be different. They oblige you to transform yourself into one of them otherwise you will not be accepted as one of them. They force you indirectly to change yourself at least while you're with them to be alike and then they would love you and accept you and even fight for you.
It is explicable now why most gay people tend to change their attitudes and behaviors while they are in straight places, or between straight people, but one might say:"So what if the community found out that you're gay, and rejected you?!"
Well, yes so what if they found out and rejected them? It may seem simple, but unfortunately it is not. The problem is that they will not only reject you and kick you, they will discriminate you from others, they will use violence against you, they will break you in any means possible, just because their religion told them to do so, and their parental and environmental social backgrounds told them to do so.
If you are not one of them, then you won't ever fit in, sad but true.
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